So when Simon offered to stay home from work I was completely open to it. However, soon after I got up the contractions subsided again.

I felt discouraged, I felt bad that I had made Simon stay home again. I was tired of the false starts.

There was a strange atmosphere around the day however. At 7:40 am the phone rang, a good friend of ours wanting to know how we were. My mom then called. At about 2pm we all were in the living room and I decided to try to nurse Colin down for his nap and watch a bit of TV. Nursing Colin brought on a contraction and I had to go pee and Colin was squirmy ant not sleepy so I sent him off to play and ran to the bathroom. While in the bathroom there was a knock at the door. Simon’s dad and grandmother stopped by on the way back from the local hospital to see Simon’s great aunt. It was a big surprise since they do not come out here often.

We all sat down and talked and the contractions kept coming at about 6-7 min intervals. Simon’s grandmother looked at me each time as she knew that something was happening. With the contractions came pressure. They were not painful per say but were uncomfortable. I could talk through them but I had to lift myself a bit off the chair with each one because of the pressure on my cervix and pelvic floor. She asked if they should leave but I didn’t want to be impolite and besides, it was probably just another false start. About 3-4 contractions later she turned to her son, Simon’s father and said that they should better leave so that I felt free to walk around. It was just about 3:30 when they left and I walked around, sat down, went on the net wrote an update on a message board that I love and wondered if it was the real thing and wondered if I should fill up the pool.

I decided that it would be a good idea and if ever it was just another false alarm then I would at least be comfortable. Simon cleaned up the living room, and changed some things around and by about 5pm the water started to enter the pool. I changed position often, the pressure that came with each contraction was starting to become hard to deal with. In my head however, I was not yet sure it was it but I couldn’t wait to hop into the pool. By the time that their was enough water in the pool the hot water had run out but though it was not warm enough yet I couldn’t wait and hopped in while Simon started to boil water to heat the pool up more.

Simon gave the boys their desert, put on a movie that we had bought for the occasion, took a picture and then sat down at the computer to write this.

“The contractions have been getting stronger and stronger ever since the middle of the afternoon. I recognize the expression on Melissa’s face when she gets them; she looks far away, deep down in the far away depths of her own body & psyche. Right here and now; carpe diem; no way around it. It’s the look that means she’s really in labour now; it surely isn’t a false alarm.

She’s in the pool now, in the middle of the living room, and I closed the blinds and turned off the phones. Shut off against the world. I’m boiling pot after pot of water to make the water just right.”

I was expecting the contractions to stop at that point but instead, they kept on coming. I took them on one at a time and tried to distract myself with the new movie that the boys were watching. Soon though, I couldn’t handle the noise of the movie anymore. It was distracting but I didn’t need to be distracted anymore, I needed to go inside myself at that point and I asked Simon to set the movie up downstairs. He did so and then came back with an offer to put music on. I decided that Nick Cave’s Album “Boatman’s Call” was the exact environment that I needed at the time. He also brought me a bit of skullcap which I took eagerly.

It was about 6:40 pm by then, the contractions were taking up all of my attention and I needed to change position often in the pool. Breathing though them was no longer enough and now I needed to moan and growl. I found positions that worked for a few contractions and eagerly awaited each pot of hot water that Simon brought. The water temperature was good and the water was keeping warm in the birthing pool but the extra hot water each time just felt great for the next contraction. I floated in the water, kneeled, laid on my side and just let the contractions come.

By about 7:00pm the contractions were one on top of the other. I felt like jumping out of my skin. My brain was separated into two voices: One that that was in the moment and was panicking and wanted to jump out the window and the other that knew that everything was normal and never let the other lose control. I reached inside to see how things were and if I could feel the head and was discouraged for a second when I couldn’t feel it. Then I felt something in a place that I didn’t expect and then realized that the head was right there but just not where I thought it would be, he was closer than I thought. I felt the edge of the cervix and knew that it wouldn’t be too long.

With the next contraction I tried to push a bit and it felt so good. At that moment I got a break. I was able to talk and regroup a bit. I told Simon to give Colin his bath. I let the contractions keep on coming and asked Simon to get the bed ready in case I wanted to try braving the contractions on dry land and then told Simon that I had felt the head when he passed by.

The contractions kept on coming and my moans and growls were no longer good enough and now a louder voice escaped my body at the peak of each contraction.

At 7:35 I felt the need to push a bit and when I did my water broke… I felt relief again and for a minute or two and again I was given a brake. I asked Simon to pour hot water on my back. When my body went back into action it was the end, I felt out of control, a massive cramp struck the muscles in my side, my mind shifted from the contraction to the cramp. The contraction went away and I was able to change position to get rid of the cramp and then the next contraction hit. I was in control again and I felt that unmistakable need to push, waves came over my body, I knew that it was the end, I called out to Simon, each wave brought the head closer and closer, my body pushed and I helped it but it knew exactly what to do without my help. I said to tell Xavier as the head emerged. The contraction then stopped and I waited for the next while I stroked his head, the next contraction came and he stayed put while I pushed. Simon suggested to kneel but my body decided to go on all fours and he came out. As I turned back around Simon was pulling him out of the water and announced that he was a boy, we got the cord unwrapped from around his neck and waited for him to breathe. He was quiet, his body was a beautiful pink but his head was still purple. I patted his back and tried a few different positions and then a sense of calm came over me. I knew he was OK. He opened one eye a bit, looked at me, whimpered, and then closed it again. He was sleeping. I asked Simon to bring me another towel since the first towel that I had had made its way to the bottom of the pool. While he was getting the towel I felt the placenta pool up around my cervix, I gave one slight push and it just flowed out into the pool water. It was 7:45 and I was holding my third son. He was nameless but I was in love.

Simon took a few pictures while the boys met their new brother. The first words to come out of Colin’s mouth were “Baby! He’s so cute!”. I asked Simon to bring me a bit of Shepherd’s Purse tincture as I couldn’t see how much blood was in the pool and then asked him to bring me the bowl for the placenta.

We wrapped our beautiful new baby up in a warm towel in his father’s arms and juggled both the baby and the bowl with the Placenta. I got out of the pool and we all went to the bedroom to welcome the new baby more comfortably. The boys welcomed him and kissed him, and then Simon went off with Xavier to give him his bath while I made a call to my mom. We then took pictures, he nursed for his first time and we all breathed him in a little. Simon then brought the boys to the living room where Colin fell asleep within minutes. Xavier stayed up a bit longer and asked questions about the placenta and umbilical cord that was still attached, he then followed Simon into the living room and he to fell asleep.

Simon and I then spent a few minutes recapping the events of the evening and admired our third son and finally gave him his name. Khéna was not a name that we had really contemplated but it was on one of the lists that Simon had made. While looking at each name on the lists it stood out in a way that it had not before. It fit. It is a South-American name that means “little flute of the Indes” and it is pronounced “Kay-na”.

About 4 hours after he was born, we cut his cord. It was thin, though the placenta was healthy and big. We put him in a shirt and a dry warm blanket and he slept.

Khéna was born at 7:45 pm November 28th 2006. Two days later, he was weighed in at 9lbs 8 oz, 20 ½ inches long with a 37 cm head circumference.

He was born at about 7:45pm though and labour started at about 2pm

ETA: his name is Khéna

If it wasn’t for this Pelvis pain I would be OK… still tired maybe but not as much as now… The worst times for me is when I am laying down, so the bed actually looks like my enemy… I can’t sleep because I hurt too much, I can’t twist and turn because the pain is excruciating… So I stay in the same position all night and just doze lightly… when I need to finally move I have to go really slowly onto my back… I can’t roll because my pelvis is locked into place so I have to lift myself up a bit to turn and then once I am on back I have to release all of my muscles and wait until I hear a big pop in my pelvis and then I can finish turning or get up… of course the first minutes up are so hard also…

My mom is going to be giving me her old couch soon and a big arm chair… it was supposed to be here this weekend but it didn’t happen… but if I am still pregnant when we get it I think I will be sleeping in that for the rest of the time…

Also, since Thursday or Friday the baby is in weird positions nd I haven’t had as many contrax… it doesn’t move much but when it does it changes position… sometimes it’s back is on the left, sometimes on the right, sometimes even posterior for a while and often it is oblique and resting its head on either side of my hip… I thought it had started to engage for a while but it doesn’t seem to have happened now and it is just turning and turning and I don’t think that I will go into labour soon, but really… I just don’t know…

Really.. I am just tired of being pregnant, I can’t wait to hold the new babe in my arms… I can’t wait for Simon to be home with us so that we can all take the time to relax and recuperate. I hope so much that this pain will stop after the babe is born… I need to be able to lay down again and relax my body instead of being in pain…

I know perfectly well that the babe will come when the babe is ready and there is no way that I would risk rushing it… but the last weeks are hard…

It took about 25 min to fill up the pool and one hot water tank full (we can’t figure out how to put the temp higher on the tank) anyway… it was pretty much the perfect temp with what we had… I got in and vegged out for a while before I decided that it would be better just a bit warmer… Simon heated up some water on the stove and that made all the difference… I stayed in for about another 30 min after that and the water stayed at the exact same temp so I know that it keep the temp well…

The test run also brought a test run of uncomfortable contrax… I had checked myself a few days ago and was still closed, not really effaced but soft…. My cervix was also still quite posterior… this morning I decided to check again and I was so surprised that after the few hours of contrax last night I am now dialated a bit, mushy and much more effaced and my cervix is much easier to reach…

Though I know that it doesn’t mean anything what it means for me is that things are different this time around…. I never dialated before labour… the boys were posterior and just didn’t put any pressure on my cervix… so what it tells me is that things have a good chance of being different this time… I may have th chance of getting a shorter and better birth experience… not having back labour and labour not stalling at 3-4 cm after spending hours to get there…

We decided that it will be better to keep the pool inflated until the birth… It will be placed in the living room when the time comes so for now it is propped up against the patio door in the kitchen…

I am very happy with my pool choice… is is SO comfy, I love the height, I love how sturdy it is and I love the shape (oval) which makes it so that I can have my legs extended or turn sideways and be able to push against the side… the inside handles make it easy to change position and it just feels like a little cocoon but not suffocating at all…. I feel comfortable and safe in there…

Oh… and while I was in there I decided to make it an ultimate test time and eat the rest of the Haagen Daaz Baileys Ice Cream that I bought a few days ago… yummm……

My pelvic pain has been so bad the last few days also… It really looked and felt like things were gearing up….

then last night… I slept… I slept well and I didn’t have as much pain when I turned over… I mean… I could actually turn over without tears…. it still hurts a lot but not nearly as much…

Babe has also changed position… instead of being LOA it has moved to ROA… and I think the reason the pain went down was that the babe was a bit sideways for a while and it’s head was lodged right on top of my left hip and putting a lot of pressure there… now I don’t feel that pressure there anymore… and the pain is a lot less… now to find the head again… though I have a feeling it may be a bit lower because I have not stopped using the bathroom since this morning…
I also haven’t had a contrax really today… so I don’t know what happened but the last few weeks look a bit brighter now… I was really getting to the point that I didn’t want to be pregnant anymore, now I feel that I can stand another week or two without a problem… though of course, I am looking forward to meeting the little one…

If you look up term pregnancy anywhere you will read that pregnancy comes to term between 38 and 42 weeks… That means that as many babies will come naturally at 38 weeks as they will come at 42 weeks… the medium of course is that “due date”… right in the middle… that date that everyone has their eye on… but just like 38 weeks is not pre-term…. 41 or 42 weeks is not overdue… it is NORMAL and HEALTHY!!! Most 1st time moms will go into labour at around 41.5 weeks as the norm… they are not “overdue” they are not “at risk” they do NOT need to be induced, the babies are not more at risk either… women may be tired and impatient at the end but that’s life… there is NO need for inducing!

Docs however, have also seemed to have forgotten what they learned… they seem to see women and babies as Robots, needing to be all the same size, gain the same amount of weight and the same exact gestational period. The minute that 38 weeks hits they start getting impatient too and for NO good reason…

Most of the women that called me for breastfeeding support all had the same story… their doctor (the same doctor) proposed induction at 38 weeks just because they were “term” at that point and I would have to say that 3/4ths of them ended up to be C/S’s, the others had other complications… not many women that I have talked to have had a complication free delivery and I think I have only talked to 1-2 moms that had a natural birth and went into labour on their own and I have never heard having a pregnancy over 40 weeks at this hospital…

This is really sad and upsetting for me…

Right now I am nearing the end of my pregnancy… actually tomorrow I will be considered to be at officially term as I will be 38 weeks. I am also officially tired of being pregnant, I am sore, I have trouble sleeping, my pelvis feels like it is falling apart and I can’t turn in bed without having tons of pain. If I was a mainstream mom that actually trusted sOB’s and wasn’t informed about the risks (or just blindly thought that doctor wouldn’t do anything that had significant risks for no reason) then I would maybe be wanting to be induced… knowing what I know however, what the risks are and trusting my body and what is normal and natural instead of an impatient “care” provider I would never be induced, especially for non-medical reasons such as impatience…

So what are the Risks?

First, induction will not work if your body is not ready to go into labour yet. That means that more meds need to be used and it can lead to failed inductions and stress on the body and baby…. When the meds do work they often produce unnaturally strong contractions… Pretty much every woman that you will talk to that has been induced has not been able to give birth naturally because the contractions are so strong… These strong contractions can also lower the baby’s Heart rate and cause Fetal distress because of the lack of oxygen that occurs with the strong contractions. It can also lead to uterine rupture which puts both the mom and the baby’s life at risk…

As I mentioned, induction most often leads to epidurals and other drugs to help with the unnaturally strong contractions. When a woman is drugged the meds also go to the baby, which again can lead to fetal distress. Moreover, when the epidural is given it can stall labour so even more meds are needed. Often however, the labour will be labeled as “failure to progress” and a C/S will be made for no good reason…

Inducing also automatically means that women can not walk around in labour, are confined to the bed, given an IV and are not “allowed” to eat or drink… The position that women are forced to take in the hospital is the worst position to give birth in, not allowing for gravity to help and making the pelvis smaller then in other positions. The baby is less able to go into the right position and descend into the birth canal. Women are often made to push before the body is ready and the baby is in the optimal position just because they are at 10cm and can spend hours pushing the baby out because of this. This can also lead to fetal distress, can lead to fatigue (especially if the woman has been starved for hours), it often leads to more interventions such as the use of the vacuum or Forcepts and may also lead to a C/S… There will be many reasons given for these interventions (pelvis too small, baby too big etc… ) mostly it is just the simple result of being in an unnatural birthing position just because it gives the best view to the doctor… because of course the doctors view and comfort is more important than the health and wellbeing of the woman giving birth and the baby coming out…

Another risk to induction (breaking the waters or giving meds) is cord prolapse… is if the baby is not in the optimal position and labour is induced or the waters are broken even in a natural birth just to make things “go faster”, or really for no reason other then the doctor or medwife wanting to intervene, the cord may come out before the babies head (since the mom is most likely laying down with gravity working against her) Cord prolapse is dangerous and makes for an automatic C/S and is often directly caused by the procedure…

It is unlikely to happen naturally… when the waters break before labour starts it is often due from pressure that that head puts on the membranes and the head with gravity works as a plug not letting the cord go by… most often however, the membrane will rupture near the end of labour when the head is engaged and the mom is in active labour making cord prolapse virtually impossible…

Induction, especially artificially breaking the water also rises the risk of infection which can lead to problems with mom and baby later on also…

Induction… not just inducing labour, but other interventions that often go hand in hand with inducing labour put so many lives at risk and too often lead to C-Sections and other problems… (of course C/S also makes the breastfeeding rate decline which puts children and their moms at even higher risk for other medical problems later on in life)

There are so many other things that can go wrong because of the interventions that have taken the place of natural childbirth… many women really don’t know or understand the risks of all of the interventions and instead just put all of their trust in others instead of themselves (something I mentioned in another post)… and if something goes wrong then it is others that are to blame or it isn’t even know that it is a risk and then the doc is the Hero at the end of it without realizing that the doc was also the cause…

Inductions are rising, C/S are rising and labour and birth are just becoming riskier and riskier because of it… moreover the fear of childbirth is rising and the lack of trust in the body and in what is natural is being replaced by it…. that is one of the saddest parts of birth today…

x-posted on my main blog

It jut makes things seem so much more real…. I mean… this thing sitting in the hall way is what I will be hopefully giving birth in a few short weeks…. I can’t wait to do a test run and sit in it for a little while and try it out…

There are only a few things that I need to get for the birth and then I am all set to have this new babe….

Hmmm…. why don’t I just list the things that I need to do here…. it will probably get me to do it more quickly…

• get the baby clothes out of the shed, separate just what we need and wash it.
• get the newborn diapers out and place them somewhere handy
• make a basket/box with everything that I need for the birth so that it is all on hand and in one spot
• write a “birth plan”… not a conventional birth plan of course… just something to have quick reminders on for both Simon an I….
• Buy some embroidery floss and braid it
• buy or find a new pump for my birthing ball (mine broke when it fell) and the ball needs a bit of air…
• Make a few more meals if I can…

There might be more of course….
OH… and about two weeks ago I decided that we needed a new fridge…. (after having to re-duct tape the shelves in our current fridge that we got free 6 years ago) it was supposed to arrive in a few weeks but I got a call saying that they will be able to deliver it on Thursday!! Don’t ask me why but I am really excited about it… weird huh!?

Colin was born at 38 weeks and if this babe decided to do the same that would mean that I would meet the little one in 2 weeks… Though I would like that for reasons of being uncomfortable and in pain… I would actually prefer to have this babe a bit closer to mid-november…

I have been having tons of BH lately.. some that are downright painful… With the boys I had a few painless BH and never really experienced labour in front… this time, I feel all of the BH in the front and I can really guess what labour will probably feel like… I am a bit excited to think that I will probably get to experience real labour instead of back labour..

I have decided again that I really want a waterbirth… I had thought that I didn’t for a while and that I would try to use my bathtub if I needed water but it really wouldn’t work at all… the bathtub is WAY too small and the water doesn’t cover my belly at all.. also, we have one of those rectangular shaped bathtubs with a steep back so you can’t really lay back and relax… anyways… I ordered “La Bassine” last week and should be getting it this week and I went and picked this up from an aquarium supply store so that I can fill and empty the tub easily….(I won’t be using the gravel cleaner )

I have a few supplies ready but just need to get them together so that they are all at the same place and ready to go if we need them… and I still have a few things that I want to pick up…

It is so hard to imagine that very soon I will be holding a new babe… a new little life…. this little person that has been moving around inside me for months… nursing and cuddling… and breathing in that newborn baby smell again…

Here is a pic from today…

Complaints: pelvic pain, strong gag reflex/nausea, irritable

Weight gain/loss from last time: 2

Total Weight gain: 15

• Leukocytes: neg
• Nitrate: neg
• Protein: trace
• Glucose: neg
  
• Blood: neg

HB: 160

Fundal height: 37cm

BP:120/70

How I am feeling:

I have a feeling that the baby has started to drop… I loss a few cm and I am now measuring a few cm less than I was a week ago, and a bit closer to where I “should” be and it would also explain the pelvic pain that I have. I am feeling less and less tolerant towards the kids which makes me feel bad but I find solice in the fact that there are only a few week left and then Simon will be home to give them a lot of attention also… It is still hard to have these feelings towards the boys at times… I hope it doesn’t show too much…

Though I am not shy about my decisions, I have not talked to many people openly about my plans. However, I do not lie either. If someone asks me where I am going to give birth I will say at home, if they go further and ask if/how I got a midwife I will tell them that we don’t… The same questions always come up after that… who is going to check you? Who is going to cut the cord? and then the what if’s come out… Then I get the comment “you are so brave” or something simular… I respond to the questions simply… no one will check me and I would let a doctor of midwife do it either… The cord will be cut after birth by either Simon or I after a the placenta comes out or longer… the What if’s I don’t go into details and just say that I am ready for many situations and will deal with them at home.

The brave comment is what makes me go crazy….

I am not brave to birth at home. What is brave in my opinion is to entrust my body to someone else. I was willing to do that with my last two pregnancies and births and I am not happy with the way that they turned out. Of course I have two gorgeous and healthy boys but the births were long and I felt rushed and threatened. I cried many tears because I felt that I had no control, not control over my body because I knew that I had to let it do its work, but control over my treatment. I wish that I wouldn’t have had so much courage those times to trust these strangers, I wish I would have had the courage to take charge of my own health completely and would have known more when I was pregnant with the boys. Of course, I was raised in a society of fear and was taught that doctors and midwifes were the experts of birth and a woman’s body in pregnancy and that you must surrender your body over to them and trust them. I am glas however, that though I was taught that, I never could believe it… I once went into a small surgery on my toe and was terrified of the needle to freeze my toe… the doctor tried to calm me down by asking me if I trusted him… I said no… he was so struck back at that and asked why I was there… I told him that I couldn’t do it by myself…

Looking back it is not that I am just afraid of needles… I have always been fearful to put my trust in doctors. I feel sick to my stomach at times when my mom speaks about doctors… she seeks them for pills and treatments. She wants blood tests, and scans and every intervention imaginable. She loves being medicated and whenever her body does something different, even though there is a good and clear explanation for it, she seeks a doctor… and when that doctor doesn’t want to give her enough pills or tests she finds another… now she is on hormones, antidepressants, blood thinners, muscle relaxers and an array of other meds…. and of course she self medicates with drugs, alchool and whatever other pills or homeopathic meds that she can get a hold on… she has always put all of her trust in doctors and medication. She doesn’t trust her body at all.

The day that I found out that I was pregnant and called the birthing center and was told that I couldn’t have a midwife I actually felt relieved. I was quite hesitant to call the other birthing center and when I finally did I wanted to hang up… I told the head midwife that if I didn’t get a midwife I would do things alone and though she may or amy nto have though that it was a “threat” it was just the truth and it was actually wishful thinking on my part. I never did call them when the time came that I may have had a place at the birthing Center, but when they called me a little rush of fear came over me…
I feel the need to be informed about birth and the more that I am informed the scarier the idea of having interventions and someone managing the birth becomes frightening. I do believe that there are women that are lucky enough to find a lay midwife that will not do any interventions at all but becomes a friend and a support person during the birth and is able to let the woman have complete control. However, I do not think that there are many midwifes out there that are able to so such a thing. I do think that I have found one however, a midwife that I have not met, that will not be here at all, that I probably will never meet, but has invited us to contact her if we have questions during the birth and for legal stuff after the birth to ease the process to get the birth registered.

The other day I called my grandmother just to say hi and we ended up talking about my plans a bit, my grandmother who had 5 twightlight births (drugged into unconciousness and awoke to a brand new baby that she was not allowed to hold too much) was actually mouch more supportive then I though she would be and started talking to me about the births of her siblings. My great grandmother was an amazing woman and I was very close to her. I knew she breastfed, I knew she birthed at home in her little country farm house. But it was amazing to hear a few details… my grandmother was surprised by the fact that the boys may see the birth and then remembered that she herself had witnessed the births of her siblings. She was surprised that I will be alone at home, but then remembered and shared that in birth a neighbor woman would often only show up near the end or even after the actual birth. I think that she understood a bit more where I am coming from.

Thinking about it all… maybe I am brave. Brave to go against the norm and trust my body and trust nature instead of trusting someone else. Brave to follow in my greatgrandmothers footsteps instead of following in my grandmothers or my mothers. Brave enough to believe that new doesn’t always mean improved.

Many times I have inspiration in unassisted birth stories…

Here are just two of the many that I have read…

Babs & Xan

Amber & Mycelia Violet